Friday, December 4, 2009
where's the flash?
This week is like a flash. And in just a week, my life is like those you get to see on TV (the drama - whatever love triangle story) - not that I'm in love or anything. Seriously I am not. It's too complicated to explain. I'm just happy it ended this way.
- How can you lose something you don't have in the first place?
Whatever action I took was based on the above question. I hope things work out fine with the both of them. I was confused because they were. I shouldn't be in the picture but I just so happen to cross his junction.
Over the years, I learn to treasure my friends more. I no longer want to risk losing them thus I will do whatever to save the friendship more than to ruin everything between us.
I deserve to be respected and I'm glad you understand my position because you made me feel how I was feeling.
It's not because I'm nice. While others would hide and run away, I'm just doing the right thing and face the truth no matter how ugly it is.
I accepted a hug when I didn't need it. When I desperately need one, where do I seek?
Well, I guess I deserve this.
12/04/2009 03:41:00 PM
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
hanging by a moment.
the past few months have been a roller coaster ride. i've always enjoy being on one. but this particular roller coaster ride is unlike any other that I've been on. I don't know if i enjoy it?
for the very first time, i'm lost. i've been lying down on my bed staring at the wall clock and watching the seconds go by trying not to think. trying i was, but it just keep(because it still is) running. i've been doing just that since.. since it happen. i dont want it to affect me. but it does somehow because i let hope in. maybe i shouldnt? i had expectations but i was trying really hard to control it. then again, won't it be harder if i didnt?
it got me thinking, maybe.. just maybe.. its me? if i could prove in a instant that im a better choice that would make everything easier? but i just dont have that power?
i no longer have the tears to cry. nobody knows, but back to the days when i was in NZ, i spend most of my time crying. crying because I was being alone. in the morning, i found myself being silly because i choose to be where i was.
the frustrating thing is that I have all the time in the world right now yet i choose to think abt this.
i wonder what i got myself into. when everything goes my way, i felt everything happen for a reason. but when things dont go my way, i felt, something about me is wrong. but what exactly?
just please don't let me suffer.
a post with many questions. which i would love to have answers for.
12/01/2009 04:13:00 AM
Sunday, June 21, 2009
sweetest thing
Sweet Uncle William planned a suprise party - 20th Anniversary, for the wife. We were invited as part of the plan to suprise Aunty Nur who is always known to be particular in organising parties and get together for guest at her house. Everything has to be right, the plates, the food, the house, ect.. For once, the husband and children took over for a change.
to be continued...
6/21/2009 01:17:00 AM